This is going to be a personal blog. I'm telling you now, so if you don't want to read about my personal life you can skip reading this one....
It's been an incredibly long winter (and yes, I realize it's not over yet). In mid-November I had a hysterectomy and the recovery process was long, both physically and mentally. I was on light-duty rest with no lifting for 6 weeks so I had plenty of time to think, relax, think and relax some more. It wasn't easy for me. Generally, I am one of those people who is on the go most of the time. Even my friends joke that I never sit down at home. The surgery changed that. I sit down a lot more now. I listen to my body a lot more. I am also a much nicer person now. Let me clarify, I've always been 'nice' but I had some frustration issues that weren't playing out so well for those around me. Let me give an example: I like to take shoes off in my home. If someone comes to my home and does not heed the sign that says 'remove shoes' I used to go berserk. I know, it sounds really silly and it is, although I can't tell you how many times I have felt genuine frustration and anger over situations like this. It wasn't intentional, it was just happening. I think I was waiting for and looking for someone to tick me off. This makes me sad. I can't help but wonder if this was a result of 'walking on eggshells' for so much of my childhood. Although I have always been a happy person, I can honestly say, I'm a lot happier now and I don't have a angry monkey on my back. It's a nice feeling.
This winter hasn't just been about recovering from surgery, it's been about overcoming and getting over things (or trying to). Late December brought the death of a long time friend and also one of my dearest sisters. A few weeks after her death, she appeared in my dream and I can still see her eyes looking into mine as she held the sides of my face and said she loved me. I've lost some amazing people in my life and had many dreams, but never one of this magnitude. In early January my car died when the engine blew up on the way home from a perfect getaway weekend. The end of January my little dog almost lost his eye when it popped out of his head. Oh and in the end of January I also filed for divorce. Like I said, it's been a long winter.
As I write this blog, I'm excited to be 'back', it's been a long road to get here. Last year I accomplished some amazing things and this year I'll accomplish amazing things too. The major difference is I've shed a lot of (deep hidden) anger and resentment and am ready for the next phase in my life. Is this exciting or what?!
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